During the holidays, resourcing in EMDR can be a really practical way to help clients (and ourselves) stay grounded. It’s a way to intentionally “tap in” calm, connection, and choice, so the nervous system has something steady to lean on instead of defaulting to old survival patterns. When we blend standard EMDR resources (Safe/Calm Place, Nurturing/Wise figures, Future Templates) with simple polyvagal-friendly practices (orienting, breath, gentle movement, and co-regulation), it often supports a more flexible window of tolerance—especially when schedules, finances, expectations, and family systems are running hot.

Resourcing ideas you can use or teach clients:

When you’re stretched thin

  • Take 60–90 seconds to orient. Let your eyes slowly scan the room. Name five neutral or pleasant things you see, hear, or feel.

  • Bring up a calm or “good enough” memory (Safe/Calm Place, or a recent moment of competence). Notice where it lands in the body, then use slow butterfly taps to gently “install” that steadiness.

  • Ask: “What would my Wise Self do with the next two hours?” Then tap in one concrete, self-honoring choice (drink water, take a brief walk, step outside between events).

Handling difficult relationships

  • Before contact, imagine a protective boundary resource—a light, a shield, or a supportive figure at their side. Tap in the felt sense of protection and choice.

  • Use simple polyvagal cues in the moment: lengthen the exhale, soften jaw and shoulders, and press feet into the floor to signal, “I’m safe enough right now,” even when someone else is dysregulated.

  • Offer a cognitive interweave: “Their behavior is about their nervous system and history, not my worth.” Pair it with slow bilateral stimulation to reinforce self-worth.

Protecting sobriety

  • Resource a Sober Future Self. Have them picture themselves at the end of the night feeling proud, clear, and safe—then tap in the image, emotion, and body sense.

  • Identify 2–3 practical anchors (a support person to text, a non-alcoholic drink they actually like, a planned time to leave) and install the felt sense of permission to use them.

  • Practice quick vagal-reset options they can do in a bathroom or outside: hand over heart and diaphragm, 6–8 slow breaths with a long exhale, or gentle neck/shoulder stretches.

Old family dynamics and roles

  • Notice the “younger part” that shows up. Bring in a Nurturing Figure (real, imagined, spiritual) who stands with that younger self—offering protection and validation—and tap in the feeling of being backed up.

  • Use a Future Template for one new micro-behavior (change the subject, don’t defend, step outside) while staying regulated; tap in the image of success.

  • Offer a grounding reminder: “I’m an adult now. I have options.” Install it as a body-based resource (feeling tall, steady feet, strong spine) with bilateral stimulation.

We’re often most content when our behavior lines up with our values—even if other people don’t share them or respect them. You can invite clients to name two or three core holiday values (for example: sobriety, kindness, authenticity, rest), then use EMDR resourcing to strengthen the felt sense of living those values: “What does it feel like in my body when I’m acting in line with what matters most to me?” When that somatic clarity is paired with polyvagal regulation (soft gaze, warm social engagement with safe people, grounded posture), it can become easier to connect, let misaligned comments pass through without taking them in, and leave gatherings feeling more like themselves—rather than pulled back into old roles.